Football Should Be Played Like Me

Moric: What was the move you used to shake me off yesterday?

Lu Yang: A Messi dribble.

Moric: Was it invented by someone named Meibo?

Lu Yang: No, it was played by someone named Messi. He made the world’s number one center-back, Boateng, fall over.

Moric: Why do you refuse to wear the number seven shirt that symbolizes glory?

Lu Yang: Because after leaving Real Madrid, there will be no seven meeting again! The moment I put on that shirt, I’m afraid I’ll turn into a ruthlessly lethal nuclear number seven!

Moric: Lu, that bicycle kick you scored from outside the penalty area yesterday was amazing. How did you do it?

Lu Yang: Simple. Don’t call me Lu—call me Ibrahimovic!

Moric: How did you save five penalties in one match?

Lu Yang: That starts with the moment I drew the Storto time card...

Lu Yang: All right, you’ve asked me so many questions. Now it’s my turn. Don’t you think that kid Baizami looks a lot like a Ninja Turtle and Majin Buu?

Baizami: Brother Lu, are you insulting me for being ugly?

Lu Yang: Don’t talk nonsense. In our place, that’s the highest compliment for a young striker!