A Weak Imperial Minister’s Guide to Lying Flat

I’m Xiao Yi, and my dream is to become a salted fish. I just want to lie flat.

My only annual KPI is to accumulate 8,760 hours of sleep.

To sleep peacefully, I planned to casually handle the family ledger.

I pointed out three loopholes at random, just to make them shut up.

Result: the old accountant knelt and begged for mercy, and I was forced to take over the family finances.

(Sigh) It’s so hard to take a nap.

To get a title as a protective talisman, I planned to hold back my performance during the prefectural exam and pass in a low-key way.

I wrote a long essay that I thought was only average, just wanting to scrape by.

Result: the chief examiner was astonished and directly named me jiefyuan, the top rank, and the emperor specially allowed me to go to the capital for the imperial examination.

(Despair) I really didn’t want to come first; it’s just that you were all too weak!

Later, I became zhuangyuan, then Grand Chancellor, with power over the court.

The emperor: “My dear minister, Great Qian cannot do without you!”

All officials: “Lord Xiao, we are willing to follow your lead!”

The common people: “Lord Xiao the Clear Sky, you are a living bodhisattva!”

Xiao Yi, looking at the medicine bowl in his hands, almost in tears: “I really... just want to go home and sleep!”